2022 JOKES

Aviation Trivia, Jokes & Humour

Moderator: Moderators

User avatar
GRAHAMW
1k poster
1k poster
Posts: 1111
Joined: Fri Sep 10, 2010 10:40 am
Closest Airfield: FAUL
Has liked: 18 times
Been liked: 82 times

Re: 2022 JOKES

Unread post by GRAHAMW » Thu Jun 09, 2022 10:28 am

OHN HET N AFSPRAAK BY DIE HAARKAPPER EN STAP PRESIES 3-UUR BY DIE SALON IN:
HAARKAPPER:" Jislaaik, jy is presies op tyd, net soos George"
JOHN:" Wie is George?"
HAARKAPPER:" George was ‘n ou wat alles altyd reg en perfek gedoen het. Soos jy nou presies 3-uur hier ingestap het was George altyd stiptelik en altyd hoflik en altyd netjies"
JOHN:"Ja, maar almal het tog maar iewers ‘n tekortkoming of twee"
HAARKAPPER:"Nie George nie nee, hy was ‘n uitstekende atleet, rugbyspeler en tennisster met n gespierde liggaam om van te droom. Hy kon opera sing wat Frank Sinatra na ‘n amateur laat klink het en dan kon hy boonop homself op die klavier begelei. Nee George was amazing
JOHN:"Klink my hy was regtig ‘n merkwaardige ou"
HAARKAPPER:"Baie merkwaardig. Hy het ‘n brein soos ‘n computer gehad. Hy het almal se verjaarsdae en huweliksherdenkings onthou. Hy was ‘n wynkenner en fynproewer van formaat met die mooiste tafelmaniere ooit.
Verder kon hy enige ding op aarde regmaak, nie soos ek wat net probeer om die stoof se fuse te vervang en dan die hele buurt se krag laat trip nie. Nee, ou George kon net niks verkeerd doen nie"
JOHN:"Ja-nee wragtig, jy kry nie baie sulke mense nie"
HAARKAPPER:"Jy weet, hy het die gawe gehad om nooit in die verkeer vas te sit nie. Hy het altyd die kortste en vinnigste roete gery sonder om ooit in ‘n verkeersknoop te land. Ek, aan die ander kant, land elke bleddy dag in 'n traffic jam. George het net nie foute gemaak nie, en kon hy ‘n vrou bederf en laat goed voel! Al is sy verkeerd het hy nooit tee gepraat of geargumenteer nie. Kyk, meer perfek as George kan en sal jy nerens kry nie"
JOHN:"Ongelooflik, hoe het jy hom ontmoet?"
HAARKAPPER: "Nee, ek het nooit die voorreg gehad om vir George te ontmoet nie. Hy is ‘n paar jaar gelede oorlede ... en ek het met sy f$kk$n vrou getrou!!
These users liked the author GRAHAMW for the post (total 2):
richard CGeraldNagel
Graham Wallbridge

The secret to getting ahead is getting started - Mark Twain
User avatar
TFD
Frequent AvComer
Posts: 764
Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2005 9:19 am
Location: East London
Has liked: 126 times
Been liked: 8 times

Re: 2022 JOKES

Unread post by TFD » Thu Jun 09, 2022 11:19 am

GRAHAMW wrote:
Thu Jun 09, 2022 10:28 am
OHN HET N AFSPRAAK BY DIE HAARKAPPER EN STAP PRESIES 3-UUR BY DIE SALON IN:
HAARKAPPER:" Jislaaik, jy is presies op tyd, net soos George"
JOHN:" Wie is George?"
HAARKAPPER:" George was ‘n ou wat alles altyd reg en perfek gedoen het. Soos jy nou presies 3-uur hier ingestap het was George altyd stiptelik en altyd hoflik en altyd netjies"
JOHN:"Ja, maar almal het tog maar iewers ‘n tekortkoming of twee"
HAARKAPPER:"Nie George nie nee, hy was ‘n uitstekende atleet, rugbyspeler en tennisster met n gespierde liggaam om van te droom. Hy kon opera sing wat Frank Sinatra na ‘n amateur laat klink het en dan kon hy boonop homself op die klavier begelei. Nee George was amazing
JOHN:"Klink my hy was regtig ‘n merkwaardige ou"
HAARKAPPER:"Baie merkwaardig. Hy het ‘n brein soos ‘n computer gehad. Hy het almal se verjaarsdae en huweliksherdenkings onthou. Hy was ‘n wynkenner en fynproewer van formaat met die mooiste tafelmaniere ooit.
Verder kon hy enige ding op aarde regmaak, nie soos ek wat net probeer om die stoof se fuse te vervang en dan die hele buurt se krag laat trip nie. Nee, ou George kon net niks verkeerd doen nie"
JOHN:"Ja-nee wragtig, jy kry nie baie sulke mense nie"
HAARKAPPER:"Jy weet, hy het die gawe gehad om nooit in die verkeer vas te sit nie. Hy het altyd die kortste en vinnigste roete gery sonder om ooit in ‘n verkeersknoop te land. Ek, aan die ander kant, land elke bleddy dag in 'n traffic jam. George het net nie foute gemaak nie, en kon hy ‘n vrou bederf en laat goed voel! Al is sy verkeerd het hy nooit tee gepraat of geargumenteer nie. Kyk, meer perfek as George kan en sal jy nerens kry nie"
JOHN:"Ongelooflik, hoe het jy hom ontmoet?"
HAARKAPPER: "Nee, ek het nooit die voorreg gehad om vir George te ontmoet nie. Hy is ‘n paar jaar gelede oorlede ... en ek het met sy f$kk$n vrou getrou!!
:lol: :lol:
Christo Raath

There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
User avatar
Ugly Duckling
8000 Tousand
8000 Tousand
Posts: 8589
Joined: Sat Mar 18, 2006 2:24 pm
Closest Airfield: Brakpan Benoni FABB
Location: Waterkloof
Has liked: 1109 times
Been liked: 1165 times

Re: 2022 JOKES

Unread post by Ugly Duckling » Thu Jun 09, 2022 12:30 pm

Sé maar net :lol:
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Paul Sabatier
Long time Cygnet builder
The object is to fly, it does not matter what the object is!
RoyMM
Mags On
Posts: 41
Joined: Thu Dec 05, 2019 12:22 pm
Closest Airfield: Morningstar
Location: Cape Town
Has liked: 16 times
Been liked: 6 times

Re: 2022 JOKES

Unread post by RoyMM » Thu Jun 09, 2022 8:14 pm

I sent away for a penis enlarger.
They sent me a magnifying glass.
User avatar
Ugly Duckling
8000 Tousand
8000 Tousand
Posts: 8589
Joined: Sat Mar 18, 2006 2:24 pm
Closest Airfield: Brakpan Benoni FABB
Location: Waterkloof
Has liked: 1109 times
Been liked: 1165 times

Re: 2022 JOKES

Unread post by Ugly Duckling » Thu Jun 09, 2022 9:08 pm

RoyMM wrote:
Thu Jun 09, 2022 8:14 pm
I sent away for a penis enlarger.
They sent me a magnifying glass.
Stay out of the sun :lol:
Paul Sabatier
Long time Cygnet builder
The object is to fly, it does not matter what the object is!
User avatar
SlowApproach
Tree Tousand
Tree Tousand
Posts: 3000
Joined: Fri May 07, 2010 11:01 pm
Closest Airfield: FAGC
Location: Arse-end of Centurion
Has liked: 11 times
Been liked: 71 times

Re: 2022 JOKES

Unread post by SlowApproach » Fri Jun 10, 2022 9:01 am

The best answer to Ryanair insisting that South African passengers must take an Afrikaans language test to enter the UK... :lol: :lol: :lol:

ryanair jou ma se.jpg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
These users liked the author SlowApproach for the post (total 2):
V5 - LEOAirplaneguy9
Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
User avatar
Ugly Duckling
8000 Tousand
8000 Tousand
Posts: 8589
Joined: Sat Mar 18, 2006 2:24 pm
Closest Airfield: Brakpan Benoni FABB
Location: Waterkloof
Has liked: 1109 times
Been liked: 1165 times

Re: 2022 JOKES

Unread post by Ugly Duckling » Sat Jun 11, 2022 8:41 am

Nou gaan ons braai :D
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
These users liked the author Ugly Duckling for the post (total 3):
Francois ViljoenGeraldNagelRay W
Paul Sabatier
Long time Cygnet builder
The object is to fly, it does not matter what the object is!
User avatar
thelsa
1k poster
1k poster
Posts: 1257
Joined: Thu Feb 08, 2007 3:47 pm
Location: Pretoria
Has liked: 2 times
Been liked: 62 times

Re: 2022 JOKES

Unread post by thelsa » Sun Jun 12, 2022 12:32 pm

Strike.JPG
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
These users liked the author thelsa for the post:
Ugly Duckling
User avatar
Iceberg
Tree Tousand
Tree Tousand
Posts: 3131
Joined: Mon Sep 05, 2011 1:09 pm
Closest Airfield: FAWB
Location: Pretoria
Has liked: 105 times
Been liked: 231 times

Re: 2022 JOKES

Unread post by Iceberg » Sun Jun 12, 2022 3:19 pm

facebook_1655009504913_6941612986497363141.jpg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
These users liked the author Iceberg for the post (total 2):
Airplaneguy9Frontiersman
The sky is not the limit....
ZS-MDK
Karl Eschberger
User avatar
SlowApproach
Tree Tousand
Tree Tousand
Posts: 3000
Joined: Fri May 07, 2010 11:01 pm
Closest Airfield: FAGC
Location: Arse-end of Centurion
Has liked: 11 times
Been liked: 71 times

Re: 2022 JOKES

Unread post by SlowApproach » Fri Jun 24, 2022 9:48 am

Two guys were out walking home from work one afternoon...
"Man," the first guy said, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip my wife's panties off!"
"What's the rush?" his buddy asked.
"The damn elastic in the legs is killing me!"
Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
User avatar
V5 - LEO
8000 Tousand
8000 Tousand
Posts: 8174
Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2011 4:18 pm
Closest Airfield: FYWH
Location: Namibia
Has liked: 551 times
Been liked: 456 times

Re: 2022 JOKES

Unread post by V5 - LEO » Fri Jun 24, 2022 10:13 am

SlowApproach wrote:
Fri Jun 24, 2022 9:48 am
Two guys were out walking home from work one afternoon...
"Man," the first guy said, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip my wife's panties off!"
"What's the rush?" his buddy asked.
"The damn elastic in the legs is killing me!"
..
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
In God I trust. The masses are never right, the minority are sometimes right, but the truth is always right.
“One good teacher in a lifetime may sometimes change a delinquent into a solid citizen.” — Philip Wylie
User avatar
Iceberg
Tree Tousand
Tree Tousand
Posts: 3131
Joined: Mon Sep 05, 2011 1:09 pm
Closest Airfield: FAWB
Location: Pretoria
Has liked: 105 times
Been liked: 231 times

Re: 2022 JOKES

Unread post by Iceberg » Tue Jun 28, 2022 9:15 am

facebook_1656387088188_6947390989538813800.jpg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
The sky is not the limit....
ZS-MDK
Karl Eschberger
User avatar
Trevorn
Too Tousand
Too Tousand
Posts: 2039
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:16 am
Closest Airfield: FAWK
Location: Pierre van Ryneveld, Centurion
Has liked: 113 times
Been liked: 203 times

Re: 2022 JOKES

Unread post by Trevorn » Tue Jun 28, 2022 11:05 am

Ronald Regan tells a soviet joke.

User avatar
Ugly Duckling
8000 Tousand
8000 Tousand
Posts: 8589
Joined: Sat Mar 18, 2006 2:24 pm
Closest Airfield: Brakpan Benoni FABB
Location: Waterkloof
Has liked: 1109 times
Been liked: 1165 times

Re: 2022 JOKES

Unread post by Ugly Duckling » Sun Jul 03, 2022 8:18 am

John finally decided to tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend.
One evening, after their honeymoon, he was welding some stuff in the garage, just for fun. His new wife was standing there at the bench watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally spoke…………….. “Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it’s time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop. You probably should just consider selling all your welders along with your gun collection and that stupid vintage Harley.”
John got a horrified look on his face.
She said”Darling, what’s wrong?”
He replied, “There, for a minute, you were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”
“Ex-wife!” she screamed, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”
John replied: “I wasn’t."
These users liked the author Ugly Duckling for the post:
V5 - LEO
Paul Sabatier
Long time Cygnet builder
The object is to fly, it does not matter what the object is!

Return to “123.45”